Version: 5/3/2017 (Chapter 8 update)
ON THE FRENCH BITS:First part:according to my french friend:
"admiral, the radars [picked up] intruders. what are your orders[?]"
"prepare the gargoyles. let's test their courage."
it should be testons
ont ramassé is the wrong verb for picked up
it does mean pick up but it's very informal and would only be used if the radar picking up intruders was a daily routine
ont trouvé, aka found
also commandes should just be replaced by ordres too
[asked about gender pronouns]
un radar, un intrus, un amiral, un ordre, le courage are all masculine
however there is une amirale, une intruse, une commande, une gargouille as well
that are feminine
me: quels/quelles was a typo i guess?
friend: no, commande is feminine
so the quel adverb had to be feminine
Second part:me: violé seems like it was the wrong word even /before/ it was translated
friend: i guess technically it COULD work but the primary meaning of violé is raped
violé does have another meaning which means desecrate or break into
but i wouldn't really do that to a line of defense
i'd say ont brisé?
brisé still irks me a little bit tho but that's good
you could just use ont détruit
restez en veille is weird
en veille means either sleep mode for a computer or on guard while camping
me: that's... not bad
friend: yeah but thats not exactly it
restez en attente should be better
lit "stay in wait" but implies
for further orders
"si les intrus se prouvent" is hella weird
im guessing its garbage translate for prove themselves
but right now it looks like they need to prove their own existence lul
i think it would work with an extra word
they need to prove themselves X
like great warriors or whatever
so like "si les intrus se prouvent forts," (strong)
and finally
it's nous-mêmes not eux-mêmes
euxmemes would mean themselves, nousmemes is ourselves
and it is débarrasser not disposer
disposer means "have avaiable"
me: that looks good on paper
friend: hang on
its almost right
it should be devrons instead of devrions
devrions is the conditionnal tense of devoir, but the conditionnal was already established as a possible future so you use the future tense instead
Third part:me: gimme a sec to type it out and replace "violé" again :V
friend: les introducteurs?
? [note: literally "the introducers"]
les intrus [note: literally "the intruders"]
it actually looks decent
yeah except for that typo its ok
First, change:"Amiral, les radars ont ramassé des intrus. Quelles sont vos commandes."
"Préparez les gargouilles. Testoeons leur courage."
to:"Amiral, les radars ont trouvé des intrus. Quels sont vos ordres?"
"Préparez les gargouilles. Testons leur courage."
Secondly, change:"Amiral, les intrus ont violé les premières lignes de défense!"
"Préparez les poupées et restez en veille. Si les intrus se prouvent, nous devrions nous en disposer eux-mêmes."
to:"Amiral, les intrus ont détruit les premières lignes de défense!"
"Préparez les poupées et restez en attente. Si les intrus se prouvent forts, nous devrons nous en débarrasser nous-mêmes."
Third, change:
"Amiral, les introducteurs ont violé notre deuxième ligne de défense! Ils infiltreront probablement notre base à tout moment!"
To:"Amiral, les intrus ont détruit notre deuxième ligne de défense! Ils infiltreront probablement notre base à tout moment!"
Fourth, I need an English explanation of:"Les capteurs ont repris des intrus, mais moi non plus Devrait arriver jusqu'à ce qu'il ne suit pas inclus, traître." [We can't figure out what this was supposed to mean, the second half is so butchered. My guess was "The sensors picked up intruders, but I didn't expect you to be with them, traitor.". Is that correct? I'll ask my friend for a new translation, if so. "also repris is wrong for capteurs; a sensor can't prendre a guy, that's the physical action of taking something (pick up); it should be 'retrouvé' (found again)"]See my next post.
Fifth, replace:"En rétrospective, j'aurais dû attendre beaucoup. Vous avez toujours en l'envie de vous mettre dans les nerfs."
"Et avant que vous osez utiliser à nouveau mon nouveau, écume traître, C'est L'ADMIRAL Tsusagi!"
"Si vous parlez en français dans l'espoir que je ne comprendrai pas ce que vous dites, vous n'êtes pas désespéré. Ma mère m'a appris comment le dire."
With:"En rétrospective, j'aurais dû m'y attendre beaucoup. Vous avez toujours aimé me mettre sur les nerfs. ["j'aurais vraiment dû my attendre" can substitute for "j'aurais dû m'y attendre
beaucoup" if you actually wanted "a lot" instead of "really" - "i feel like there's a way to say that second half slightly better; but the nerves equivalent IS mettre sur les nerfs"]
"Et avant que vous osez utiliser à nouveau mon nom, ordure de traître, c'est L'AMIRAL Tsusagi!" [the word you used for scum literally means "foam"; this one is "trash" and is the one used for insults]
"Si vous parlez en français dans l'espoir que je ne comprenne pas ce que vous dites, vous n'avez pas de chance. Ma mère m'a appris à le parler."
Finally:Époux: This is literally 'husband/partner/mate/aide' (masculine). The feminine ("wife", less alternate definitions), if you were looking for it, is 'épouse'.
Quelle?!: This is not the actual French exclamation of surprise, the way we have "What?!" and Japanese has "Nani?!"; French has "Quoi?!" as the closest equivalent, or "hein?!" for onomatopoeia/slang ('sorta pronounced like "un"')
Bugs:i.imgur.com/st6AtmS.pngDouble Mei. The one on the left is probably the player.
i.imgur.com/rKz9EF1.pngDitto, different cutscene.
i.imgur.com/OXYBCgo.pngBianca's full portrait doesn't disappear after the Chapter 8 start cutscene.
If I reload the Chapter 7 end / chapter 8 start save and choose not to play cutscene, it goes to an eternal blackscreen.
i.imgur.com/j9O4oZz.pngShould that gargoyle still be there?
More complex bug: Healing items trigger chain attacks.
- Stand Amara next to Bianca
- Have Amara use Toast on herself.
- Bianca will whack Amara with her sceptre.
Do the dolls have a chance to cause instant death? Amara got hit for 34 by one while on 71 HP, and died.
i.imgur.com/MMjWIfD.pngBianca is invisible during this cutscene.
After that cutscene (even if you skip it), Bianca stays invisible, and the game doesn't return you to town. If it made you visible, it would be fine, but as it is, you stay invisible right through the next cutscene.
i.imgur.com/lihqYoR.png http://i.imgur.com/LxG8X19.pngAfter defeating Tsusagi, the screen fades to black and doesn't fade back in (rather than going to the end credits or another cutscene).
(English) Typos:i.imgur.com/vW5vfqI.pngDo you: You do
i.imgur.com/EtjZ19D.pngfocus studying: focus on studying
i.imgur.com/n2RubIw.pngweekened: weekend
Should there be a question mark at the end of that suggestion, or is that just Amara being an oddball?
i.imgur.com/o3CH79z.png"emptied handed or otherwise": Can I suggest that "empty handed. Or at all." might be better?
i.imgur.com/4vJr9bG.pngwomen having: women have been
i.imgur.com/ttdVAdB.pngyour: you're
i.imgur.com/ldIhT40.pngconsistantly: consistently
upperlcassmen: upperclassmen
her skulls: their skulls (I think you may have length problems here
)
i.imgur.com/Ou5zyrf.pngYou're: Your
i.imgur.com/cxCijlB.png"Tell me honestly?": Maybe that question mark should be a colon? "Tell me honestly: have I neglected your needs in any way?"
in any: in any way [?]
i.imgur.com/YNJVdUg.png...Should that be "doesn't mean I don't"? As in, she *does* want to dominate all of Bianca's free time? From the context, it seems like maybe it should...
i.imgur.com/JNQV8o1.pngselflish: selfish
i.imgur.com/rI10E8F.pngacceptible: acceptable
i.imgur.com/5w4FiIX.pngWe can this: We can have this
we nothing: we have nothing
i.imgur.com/rM90qll.pngI feel like that 'how' should be a 'why'...
i.imgur.com/cWAoSLg.pngno right pass: no right to pass
i.imgur.com/Yjy0FxA.pngFiancé (or fiance) is the masculine. Fiancée (fiancee) is the feminine. It's like blond/blonde. This should be fiancee. Apologies for my nitpicking.
The same thing (fiance/fiancee) applies to the next line.
i.imgur.com/cPC9sum.pngthere: their
phyiscal: physical
(You should probably stop taunting him, Bianca)
i.imgur.com/M4b3dBU.pngarrogantly: arrogant.
Does he mean commoners?
i.imgur.com/Z0vBRMp.pngfiance: fiancee
"You dwarves.": Might read better as just "Dwarves!"
i.imgur.com/zbmWCeR.pngto death: to the death?
i.imgur.com/261WhKJ.pngthem dwarves: not something nobody would ever say, but doesn't sound like Bianca. Either "those dwarves" or just "them".
i.imgur.com/M8v8bBQ.pngwhen's: when she's [or I guess "who's" but I like "when she's" better]
i.imgur.com/OiW3Ykh.png...There should be a 'you' after 'love', right? I am not good at checking Amara's speech patterns.
i.imgur.com/aVuvWcV.png"in the line danger": "in danger" or "in the line of fire" I guess?
i.imgur.com/7wSdeD1.pngthan you fall: than you to fall
i.imgur.com/v5jhc2Z.pngabout: about that
i.imgur.com/b8Dk3XG.pngwill die: would die [assuming he's speaking in the hypothetical...]
i.imgur.com/FiudvIH.pngI think that should be a "?" or "?!", not a ".", unless he's speaking in monotone.
i.imgur.com/Vd9zeGq.png"that means of contacting": This got mangled enough for the original meaning to be confused. Maybe "she could contact" or "she has a means of contacting"?...
i.imgur.com/cODXYw0.pngalong side: "alongside one another", "side by side", or "together" work; "along side" doesn't really
i.imgur.com/moaBSWE.pngwho see: who she
i.imgur.com/R4jUVfp.png"I will better you just yet": "I will best you yet"? "I will get the better of you yet"?
i.imgur.com/cGMmZO8.pngabandonned: abandoned
you: you've [?]
i.imgur.com/G4i5HKp.pngwe'll make: we'll make sure
won't: doesn't [?]
(Why do I have a feeling Bianca is going to regret this)
i.imgur.com/RczWaVS.pngselflesh: selfless
i.imgur.com/ill4FjE.pngkeep you to word: hold you to your word
i.imgur.com/FsSKuTn.pngI said is: I said it in
i.imgur.com/yA4IFgx.pngis Amara: are Amara
If you were die: If you were to die
i.imgur.com/naIEKwe.pnginvestigate into your death: This can actually just be "investigate your death".
"it will take a long while realize": "they would take a long time to realize"?
i.imgur.com/p1G9Oev.png"Why? You may ask yourself.": "Why, you might ask?"
"as I intended it to": Uh... "as I intended" (without 'it to')? Maybe?...
i.imgur.com/Rh5lGgF.png"died after living a long and fulfilling life of at least 100!": missing "years", and it still sounds weird but I'm not sure how else to convey that information actually.
i.imgur.com/ubdd2g0.pngdecide act: decide to act
i.imgur.com/N8QQwFy.pngresulting far: resulting in far [and maybe "far" could be "greatly"? satisfaction could be "enjoyment"? but the missing "in" is the only major issue]
i.imgur.com/X8nA6vw.pngsaving from: saving me from [?]
i.imgur.com/5sbxzuy.pngmonsters than: more monsters than
i.imgur.com/eZfjMHn.pngrediculous: ridiculous
i.imgur.com/9oDpZ3H.pnguncharestically: uncharacteristically [copy paste it if you like]
i.imgur.com/N2WTMV1.pngyou: you'd [or "you would"]
i.imgur.com/9w7UoNU.pngcongradulate: congratulate
i.imgur.com/nn5kuxP.pngAm: An
i.imgur.com/eJpzQzI.pngwe are: we were
i.imgur.com/NX1hWbF.pngmind of: mind off
i.imgur.com/gADgqnz.pngI wished: I wish
i.imgur.com/WyNT1AQ.pngThat semicolon could be a question mark. And then "it's" should be "It's".
This line repeats twice. :S
i.imgur.com/ygj0ZNh.pngsettled with: settled for
we don't: we didn't
come in: come into [?]
i.imgur.com/neDlY2P.pngEither put another word after 'to' ("conquer"?), or remove 'to'.
i.imgur.com/c5QL1pk.pngtoshare: to share
i.imgur.com/fGWrrdL.pngbefore started: "before we started" or "before starting"
i.imgur.com/dzrTupu.pngcrashed landed: crash landed (or just "crashed")
i.imgur.com/Py0IvBy.pnglifes: lives (plural), or life (collective)
i.imgur.com/18JQ05a.pngcould: couldn't
i.imgur.com/RhQhPZE.png
Lunarabbits has previously been spelled like that; here it's spelled "lunerabbits"
"to whom would that be" (a few lines later, I missed a screenshot): "who might that be"? Or, just remove the 'to'?
i.imgur.com/3q7CJqk.png
"lunerabbit take": "lunarabbit to take"
i.imgur.com/QhfEvli.png
"is not how I would expected": "was not how I expected" or "is not how I would have expected"
]
? [note: literally "the introducers"]
)