Welcome back! I just finished the opening cutscene of the new chapter and will be back with more notes later on.
Notes:i.imgur.com/KRVKs5N.pngAt least she can throw magic at it (without making the problem worse).
i.imgur.com/QN8dsFu.png...Is this what witchborn are like with EVERYTHING? I was wondering how she managed to start a fire, but I guess melting the chocolate would require her to heat it up...
i.imgur.com/O84j0km.pngCan I assume that what she actually means is that there are many ingredients that DON'T go well with each other? Or is Lunarabbit cuisine actually extremely limited?
i.imgur.com/3TnA9kM.pngI honestly assumed it was, well, Valentine's chocolate from girls she flirted with.
i.imgur.com/DHyuyHe.pngOh, the Hermina I know is back.
i.imgur.com/HVzYm1X.pngIt's how she shows affection!
i.imgur.com/PMAfjMI.pngIf the one episode of Pretty Little Liars I watched several years ago taught me anything, it was never to trust anyone who signs things with an initial. Especially if it's an A!
i.imgur.com/vk22boC.pngThere's a surprising (and amusing) amount of depth to that last sentence.
i.imgur.com/pXx5j7F.png...either Alice is borderline precognisant or this plan only worked through sheer luck.
i.imgur.com/7Wr6Ahl.pngI like how this dialogue is basically universally applicable and doesn't need updating between chapters, just becoming funnier as you get further into the game. As is this one:
i.imgur.com/rJJYgZz.pngi.imgur.com/yMzOi96.pngThis one is not quite as up-to-date. Nor is this one:
i.imgur.com/NNQbKTz.pngBugs:If you leave the classroom and immediately return during Chapter 18, you get stuck on a blackscreen.
i.imgur.com/8xMxZnk.pngi.imgur.com/0dxqJXp.png Why am I getting this event when I go downstairs? I don't recall what chapter it's from, but I get taken here right after!
i.imgur.com/y8WDUXG.pngMaybe the actual bug is already long since fixed and my save file just has some switches set incorrectly due to being copied repeatedly from older versions, but it's probably a good idea to verify that. Here's the save file in question in case that helps. Just leave the classroom and go down the stairs.
Save04.rvdata2 (499.93 KB)
Typos:i.imgur.com/kJXhBu4.pngis too: is to
i.imgur.com/5TYZvqu.png"your efforts you've all made": Does this sound weird to you? Maybe "the effort you've all made"?
i.imgur.com/f7UaGme.pngmade when: made these when
i.imgur.com/56LftAj.pngseem ache: seem to ache
i.imgur.com/dyJnPAD.pnggirls Ms. Aika: girls like Ms. Aika
Needs a question mark after 'Miyuki'.
i.imgur.com/lSsYEli.pngsuch lack: such a lack of (or: such lacking)
Your romanization of "fujoshi" ("fujoushi") is unusual. The kana are "ふじょし" -- "fu ji ~yo shi", there's no extension/U on the jo. Source:
jisho.org/search/fujoshi (meaning 2)
Also, it's the kanji "女", seen also in "josei".
i.imgur.com/RdU10Sz.png"last second": I can sorta accept the implicit "at the" before this, but it sounds weird when Amara says it, since it's a (presumably human) idiom.
i.imgur.com/OBazmFL.pnghard find: hard to find
i.imgur.com/gEztSED.pngit offensive: it would be offensive
i.imgur.com/KRVKs5N.pngproved: proven (It's possible "proved" is also valid here, and it's likely most people wouldn't care, but I believe "proven" is technically correct. Constructing sentences instinctively, this appears to be a subject/object based rule... contrast "the story was proven false" against "the story proved false" -- you can't use proven in the latter case)
i.imgur.com/91FRiXh.pngI though: I thought
Fullmythiril: Typically, it's spelled "mythril" or "mithril" or occasionally even "mithral", not "mythiril", but it's a made-up word so you can spell it however you like! Woooo!
would teach what: would teach me what
I need: I needed
I think 'mother' is supposed to be capitalized when it's used like this; contrast "learned from my mother" vs. "learned from Mother" (both correct). I may be wrong.
i.imgur.com/rBMcotI.pngit was make: it was to make
i.imgur.com/3TnA9kM.pngthrough out: throughout
i.imgur.com/GsH4RVt.pngI'd add a comma after "oh".
i.imgur.com/nerHkiI.pngsuppose: supposed
i.imgur.com/ElalrP1.pngwomen: woman
i.imgur.com/Sr8yglZ.pngsuppose: supposed
(add a question mark at the end, too)
i.imgur.com/aSodsJP.png"a bitchy": "a bitch" or "bitchy"
"all of today": This does work, but I'd have gone with "all day"
i.imgur.com/Jl9bkoy.pngsave: shove
i.imgur.com/LHidJgz.pngchoclates: chocolates
i.imgur.com/vk22boC.pnggave a: gave me
i.imgur.com/sTFnEZl.pngMaybe add a comma after "don't know"?
i.imgur.com/216l8cW.pngUnless those chocolates are making her hallucinate, or are apple-flavored for some reason, I think the word "apple" doesn't belong in that sentence...
i.imgur.com/GylQQ3Y.png"those chocolates was": "those chocolates were"
"someone had put them on": "someone put them on"
i.imgur.com/UUlGtfX.pngWhile almost correct in the transliterations of certain thick English accents/dialects (it makes it funnier, but it's still wrong), this sentence should probably be corrected as follows:
"the bastard tried": "the bastard who tried"
"kill me": "kill my"
i.imgur.com/VPqxptm.pngdemostration: demonstration
